Failing for the better
It happens to each of us - No exceptions. We all fail at some point. A lot of books and thinkers repeat the cliche ' Failure is the stepping stone for success' , 'Learn from your failures and move on'.....
They are all easier said than experienced. We will find these cliches easy to dole out to others, but hard to receive ourselves, just like how the Australian cricket team finds it easy to talk nasty to their opponents, but chicken out when the opponents give it back to them.
Coming back to the topic, to me, failure is nature s way of letting you know that you need to take a different approach. Many of us find this the most painful part of failure and are very often in a denial mode - we try the same approach again, only to see the same result.
That brings us to a completely new discussion - Is the result an indication of whether we succeeded or failed ? For sure, the world measures us by results. Noone cares how much research you put in and what approach you took for the preparing that proposal to the Client - If the company does not get the deal, you can expect your boss to talk about it in your performance assesment.
You would be better off measuring yourself by your effort rather than the result. Simply because the result involves a few to many unknowns apart from your effort. If the result is not what you wanted, but there was nothing that you could have done to stop it, you should take the failure with a big heart.
Then comes the big Failures - loss of job, a close relationship that failed, a dream that faded away right in front of you.... Again, it happens to all of us - no exceptions. Yet, we have the choice to either become bitter or become better. It is no coincidence that the second choice [become better] has no 'I' - We often find people with big Ego become bitter with failure and those who can set aside the ' I' become better with failure.
Finally, the joy of doing an action for itself transcends success or failure. It takes a lot of maturity to reach there . Most of us do things with an ulterior motive - reward, recognition , result in some form or the other. Acheiving those is 'success' and not getting there is 'failure'. Failures teach us to stay focussed on the joy of doing - just enjoy doing what you do at the moment and stay fully focussed on the present , without worrying about what follows or what preceded. Translated into life, we should live for the joy of living and not for things we chase - money , fame, power.... They all come and go. Live this moment to the fullest and live every moment that way. Remember, the clock is ticking and we do not have the luxury of unlimited time. Stay happy every moment - That is a choice and we may not be around to make that choice tomorrow or years down the line - So, make that choice now.
They are all easier said than experienced. We will find these cliches easy to dole out to others, but hard to receive ourselves, just like how the Australian cricket team finds it easy to talk nasty to their opponents, but chicken out when the opponents give it back to them.
Coming back to the topic, to me, failure is nature s way of letting you know that you need to take a different approach. Many of us find this the most painful part of failure and are very often in a denial mode - we try the same approach again, only to see the same result.
That brings us to a completely new discussion - Is the result an indication of whether we succeeded or failed ? For sure, the world measures us by results. Noone cares how much research you put in and what approach you took for the preparing that proposal to the Client - If the company does not get the deal, you can expect your boss to talk about it in your performance assesment.
You would be better off measuring yourself by your effort rather than the result. Simply because the result involves a few to many unknowns apart from your effort. If the result is not what you wanted, but there was nothing that you could have done to stop it, you should take the failure with a big heart.
Then comes the big Failures - loss of job, a close relationship that failed, a dream that faded away right in front of you.... Again, it happens to all of us - no exceptions. Yet, we have the choice to either become bitter or become better. It is no coincidence that the second choice [become better] has no 'I' - We often find people with big Ego become bitter with failure and those who can set aside the ' I' become better with failure.
Finally, the joy of doing an action for itself transcends success or failure. It takes a lot of maturity to reach there . Most of us do things with an ulterior motive - reward, recognition , result in some form or the other. Acheiving those is 'success' and not getting there is 'failure'. Failures teach us to stay focussed on the joy of doing - just enjoy doing what you do at the moment and stay fully focussed on the present , without worrying about what follows or what preceded. Translated into life, we should live for the joy of living and not for things we chase - money , fame, power.... They all come and go. Live this moment to the fullest and live every moment that way. Remember, the clock is ticking and we do not have the luxury of unlimited time. Stay happy every moment - That is a choice and we may not be around to make that choice tomorrow or years down the line - So, make that choice now.
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