Time Machine....

How Cruel can Time get !!! It looks like just moments ago that I was in my early twenties, travelling abroad on work, in love, and had all the best things that life could ever give me. At that point of time, I wondered if I ever deserved such lovely things life gifted me. Frankly, I thought I did not.

In what seems like minutes, but actually years later, I am alone, in my late thirties, feeling dejected, disappointed, lonely in life and directionless at work ... you name a negative emotion and I seem to go through it. Again, I do wonder if I deserved all this !!

Gloom , uncertainity, sorrow seems to have enveloped not just me, but the world in general. Why is true content and happiness so rare these days ? Did we travel so far away from ourselves that we lost our own self ?

Life was too kind to me early on - Importantly, I perhaps deluded that life will stay that way,which is perhaps why I feel the pain and grief now, when it takes away all the nice things it gave me - a fantastic career, a great wife, a lovely home....

What I am left with is a fewer relationships than I had during my happy days, lesser time, more money [ not too much, though]. But, impotantly, the relationships I am left with are the ones that adversity tested really strongly, the time I have is more valuble, and the money I m left with is hard earned and sweat drenched !! I hope to make a difference to humanity - we all deserve more accepting and loving relationships, more unconditional and true love , fulfilling relaionships and more money to realize our dream possessions

But, what nothing can take away from me - not even time - is the wisdom, maturity, the tendency to be more accepting, accomodating of differences and importantly - to keep ploughing when the land is hard, rocky, and tough. There is no light as of now, as the tunnel seems to stretch far beyond. But who knows, the light may just be around the corner !!

For those who are now shining in the light, enjoy the attention and brightness, knowing fully well that it may not last as long as you think or it seems.

Same applies to those like me, who are grappling their way out of darkness and traps, getting hurt, bleeding, paining, yet persevering in hope of a better tomorrow !! This too, shall Pass !!

Comments

salurocks said…
Awwwwww!!!! That hurts Anna to read!! I hope things get better with you soon and like you mentioned sure itz just a passin phase :-)!! Look at me itself.. few weeks ago I was all elated about findin the woman.. today I'm in doubt if it would happen.. and well right now I feel GOOD like hell simply coz I believe that better things AWAIT ME :-)
I was in a bad mood when i wrote that and I felt so much better letting it out. I am much better now and I hope it gets better for you too.
Whatever happens, it happens for your Good - be convinced of that and possibilities will open up

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